Let's get messy

I was asked by the ministers I work with if I would speak to our congregation about my vision for the future of Unitarian Universalism. I want to share that here, but I know that some of you are not UU's, and I hope you will still read this, because really, I don't see a difference at all between my hope for my faith and my hope for the world at large, for our families, communities, cultures, all of it. 

My hope is that we will get messier.

My friends, we need to keep at this work. I think some of us are on the right track right now, but we have been there before, and we’ve gotten tired and ducked back under the covers. 

I was watching the Yankees play in the ALCS Friday night and a commercial for the Free Masons popped up. The ad began with the statement: Being a man used to be simpler…

 I wonder if even 5% of the people watching that commercial flinched when they heard that claim? Statements like this are everywhere. Bids, being made to us in every corner of our lives, asking us to connect with an oversimplified statement of “truth” that is a far cry from the messy, complicated reality it is pretending to be.

It is hard to spend time trying to envision the future right now, because the future, when you really look at it, is ominous. I don’t blame people choosing to look away, it is understandable when the alternative- whether you are examining economics, politics, justice issues, or our planets health- is so bleak. Our problems are intertwined, and the power that might allow for change feels out of reach, or squandered, or misused.

And that doesn’t even begin to cover all the little and big challenges we are each facing individually:

Childhood

Parenting

Navigating friendships and romantic relationships

Missing those we love who have died.

Wishing we had more time with loved ones who are living.

Aging

Caring for those who are sick

Trying to make sure we, ourselves, are cared for

Health, Money, aspirations, dreams

Life is messy. And it’s complicated. It has always been that way, but we have taught ourselves to pretend otherwise. Throughout history, most human civilizations have operated with the presumption that the only people who’s needs we really have to consider are those who hold power. That was never the truth, there was never a day in all of history where the needs of those in power were more important than the needs of those without power, and yet, this has always been our modus operandi- right up to this moment.

That is our human legacy- we have found it more ‘simple’ to meet the needs of some, than to do the work to meet the needs of all. It has been a game of kick the can that has gone on for many centuries, putting off messy, complicated work, and now we are wondering how we got here? And reminiscing for the time when ‘Being a man was simpler...”

My faith, Unitarian Universalism, was built from this mess. It has grown from centuries of humans grappling with the world around us and trying to find truth. Not the simplified truth that serves some at the expense of others, but the messy imperfect truth that brings tears along with laughter, loss along with gain, that offers transformation for all.

In practice, UU's still have a lot of work to do, but my vision is a faith where we seek relationship with others in part because it is the key to understanding one another deeply, and that understanding each other is essential to our ability to help each other move forward.

I envision a faith where we are each looking for our own flaws, and understand that admitting to them, and naming them is not a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of strength. Where making a mistake is seen as an opportunity- not that we hope for them to happen- but that we recognize they are inevitable and we grapple with the lessons they offer us.

There will always be ways that we miss the mark because of our own biases- which are largely invisible to us by design- but which we must always strive to see. 

I envision a faith where we put our children and youth on the top of our list of priorities in our congregations and in our larger communities because we know that they are our future, they are the remedy to short sighted thinking. Investing in their ability to see complicated truth is investing in the formation of the hearts and minds that might literally save humanity.

And through all of this, I envision a faith that offers a path for each of us to find meaningful spiritual practice that can ground us and guide us as we grapple with this messy work. We sing with abandon, and dance, and cry, and laugh. We are joy-filled and passionate.

When we are doing it right, this work is not something we fit into our life, it is the air we breathe.

When we are doing this right, we look messy.

We show up with stains on our shirts, or tears on our cheeks, if that is what the day brings.

We ask questions that we aren’t sure we’ve framed the right way.

We forgive each other but also hold one another accountable.

When we are doing this right, I believe, we are taking one step at a time, leading and following, breaking the trail some days and recharging while others among us forge forward the next.  

When we are doing this right, we are doing it together. Our hands get dirty, we look awkward and confused, and we feel in our hearts that we are on the right path.

May it be so.